it never pays to be nice to people.

but it pays to have sex with people if ur a prostitute.

too bad im nice. and not naughty

i truly hate all my friends. except like srinu

i havent updated this thing in sooo long:
lets just talk about my life.. so in the past 2 years.. a lot has changed.. i cant say i feel much more "grown up".. but experianced maybe.. i got my first job in november of 2004.. worked for about a year at a pretzle shop.. then switched roles to being a dance teacher.. then stopped that and now i think im gonna be working at new york sports club
i played the role of a daughter, a sister, and an extreamly loyal girlfriend
and throughout it all i was the most confused Niki i've ever seen.
i know there wasnt that much to learn.. it was that people change.. nothing is in my control accept for my own actions and the people i choose to associate myself with.. that if someone wants to change their has to be a willingness on their half before you can give them any help because without willingness help is only pressure.. that people will be cold, rude, and harsh.. but it should only teach you to value generosity more.. and that what often may seem impossible to me is just an opportunity.. and that i should never mistake whats right with convienence.
ive experianced. all through my ex. i've learned through my parents. My friends. my Sister.. just so many people.. so many who werent worth my time.. and so many who just made it worthwhile..

i know this seems so pointless.. but for the first time i feel that ive accomplished so much of nothing.. that i've learned everything by losing everything i ever loved or knew.. and i dont have to cry saying it.. which is an accomplishment enough for me. to be constantly heartbroken but still know how to laugh.. everythings not so bad afterall...

if your happy, and you know it, clap your hands

*clap clap*

id just like to explain to everyone why my theory doesnt work:

when i was little, i used to think, this place sucks. we all work. we all do our part.  howcome we have to pay for WATER, a natural flowing SUBSTANCE, and food- a vital to our life. i used to say, as long as everyone does their jobs, theres really no sense in paying for things as long as they have something to show for them doing their jobs. but then i realized, buying luxary things, and working less hours than the next guy- would just make it unfair. so lets say everyone had to go around with a stamp card for the amount of hours they worked- so they could buy whatever things they wanted and get little checkoffs next to their name.. well that wouldnt be fair. because what if a plumber did his job for about 10 minutes and a doctor saved someones life in 10 minutes. life vs. TOLIET. not fair no? so therefore, depending on how much you've done, and how much of significance it holds to mankind, we get PAID for it in little pieces of paper.. which decides what we can and cant purchase

kind of degrating to our abilities no?